True intimacy with others is one of the highest values of human existence; there may be nothing more important for the well-being and optimal functioning of human beings than intimate relationships. John Bowlby
True intimacy with others is one of the highest values of human existence; there may be nothing more important for the well-being and optimal functioning of human beings than intimate relationships. John Bowlby
Simply being near to someone or sharing day-to-day interactions does not translate to deep or even healthy intimacy- the quality of the experience is particularly important. The inverse is also true: we don’t immediately lose intimacy just because it has lapsed in a few different areas.
It is suggested that an intimate interaction is distinguished from other kinds of interactions by three necessary and sufficient conditions:
· Self- revealing behavior
· Positive involvement with each other
· Shared understandings
Self-revealing behaviors imply the willingness to drop defenses and invite the other to witness and to know private, personal aspects of the self. Moreover, deeply self-revealing behavior usually involves the expression of emotions, and often, vulnerable emotions, such as guilt, hurt, or sadness. To expose the innermost self.
Positive involvement with each other can be seen through partner devotion of full attention to the encounter as opposed to offering only a divided or intermittent attentional focus. Positive here refers to basic positive regard for the other that is communicated through nonverbal cues, verbal cues, or both. Immediacy or the directness and intensity of interaction between two entities.
Shared Understandings, both partners experience a sense of knowing or understanding some aspect of the other’s inner experience- from private thoughts, feelings, or beliefs to characteristic rhythms, habits, routines, to private sexual fantasies and preferences.